Rachel 2: What headband should I pick? It has to look douchey.
Scott: I don't know.
Rachel 2: Scott, don't sass me.
Scott: I DON'T KNOW!
Rachel 2: If I was a 12 year old girl, and you were a pedophile, what headband would you want me to wear?
Scott: The pretty princess one.
Scott: Will you just pick a headband?
Rachel 2: STOP with the sass. We are breaking up over this.
Rachel 2: My sword is erect.
Janelle: Mine's leaning a little to the left.
[swords make sounds]
Scott: Well, I bet I know what DOESN'T make that sound.
Rachel 2: Scott, look at this. It's a friend you can put in water and it will grow and be with you always. You will never be alone again.
Scott [speaking in a moderately loud voice]: JANELLE! LOOK HOW MUCH THESE CANDY BARS ARE!
[they have a giant "69cent" sticker on them]
Scott: I need some sunglasses. I need some cool sunglasses.
[two seconds later]
Scott: Yeah, not happening.
Scott [punches Janelle in the arm, whisper-screaming]: THERE'S A GIRL IN YOUR SORORITY HERE.
Janelle: WE JUST NEED GLASSES THAT MAKE HER LOOK BLIND AND HOMELESS.
Scott: JANELLE! Is this a good vial for cocaine?
Janelle: How much cocaine were you thinking, buddy?
Rachel 2: GO ASK HER OUT NOW.
Cashier: Thankyouforshoppingatdollartreehaveaniceday.
Janelle: Thanks.
Cashier [to another woman]: Deuces.
Cashier: Yeah, I said it.
Scott: We can talk about this in the car.
Scott: Okay, just text me.
Rachel 2: NO, I'll sext you.
Scott: Ooooookay . . .
Rachel 2: I hate DRIVERS.
Scott: WHY DON'T WE HANG OUT?
[they high-5 three times like douches]
[Janelle is dropping Scott off for class]
Janelle: Did you grab your lunch, buddy?
Rachel 2: Good luck on your test!
Janelle: Have fun at soccer!
Rachel 2: I wrote you a note in your lunch! Your two moms love you!
Janelle: Score a goal!
[they are YELLING this at him outside the UTLC building and people are judging]
[Rachel 2 puts a dinosaur head on]
Rachel 2: Hey, Scott ... what are you doing Saturday?
Scott: Strangely, I'm busy.
Scott: THIS IS YOUR DAY, JANELLE.
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