Thursday, March 10, 2011

Why Would You Ever Want To Have A Sandwich Named After You?


A school that many, if not all, of the Jeggings Bloggers are in some or no way affiliated with used to have this strange habit of naming cafeteria sandwiches after semi- or not-famous alumni. We here at the Jeggings Blog think that this is very odd. Picture returning to your alma mater to give a lecture or to pay a 15-year delinquent parking ticket, and then heading to the cafeteria for a gross bite to eat, only to discover that the school has named a sandwich after you.

(If you eat this sandwich, can it be considered cannibalism? Words to ponder.)

Anyway, we sat and thought up what our individual sandwiches will be when we open our own SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot Corporation, and we have full control over the cafeteria and what kind of highlighters to order.

-------------


The Blankenship
- Avocado spread, bean sprouts, lettuce, tomato, spinach, cucumbers, black beans, and cheddar cheese on whole wheat bread with a choice of French fries or fresh fruit. Also enjoy a quad-shot soy vanilla latte for texture.

The Johara
- An obscene amount of extra crispy bacon, lettuce, roast beef, turkey, Pepper Jack cheese, and Swiss cheese and a slight spreading of light mayo and seasoned salt on ciabatta bread. Served with a choice of Better Made Barbecue chips or French fries with vinegar. Served with a fishbowl of Arnold Palmer with tiny sailboats in it.

The Penner
- Bacon, pulled pork, ham, coleslaw, banana peppers, turkey pepperoni, and hot sauce with your choice of Swiss, American, or Pepper Jack cheese on Texas Toast. Served with your choice of barbecue sauce. Also, choose your side of sweet potato fries, extra bacon, breakfast sausage, or ten pounds of crawfish. Wash it all down with some non-alcoholic Budweiser.

The Wolka Box Special (+$2.59)
- Open-faced sloppy joe on a Kaiser bun with a side of saurkraut, dill pickles on top of the saurkraut, a "Chef's Choice" salad, and grape juice.

The RachieAC
- Avocado spread, sun-dried tomato pesto with pine nuts, fresh mozzarella cheese with basil, and a truckload of very hot sauce on a panini. Served with an apple, since it's a commitment food, with Simply Orange orange juice. Served with a flourish and smile by a sassy gay friend.

The Slehman (+$0.69)
- Roast beef, Provolone and Cheddar cheese, crushed red peppers inside a Calzone shell and deep fried for 45 minutes, or until golden brown. Lightly basted with unsalted butter, topped with a pinch of salt and Parmesan cheese with a cherry and a cocktail sword with a Confederate flag on top. Served with your choice of a Capri Sun or a Kool-Aid Jammer, garnished with some fresh basil for texture and an orange wedge (on a separate plate) next to Baked Alaska, so at least SOMETHING is on fire.

No comments:

Post a Comment