How To Get Boys

In light of one of my sorority sister's recent breakup, I felt like I needed to shed some light on Janelle's Method of Getting Boys. [patent pending]

If you've ever met me, you might be shocked to find out that I have a boyfriend. Here, I am going to enlighten you on five foolproof ways to get boys. It's foolproof. FOOLPROOF.

1) Let food fall out of your mouth, preferably Mexican [but Chinese will do].
2) Snort when you laugh.
3) Always talk about how awesome you are.
4) Wear shirts that never show one inch of cleavage.
5) Laugh immaturely whenever you see the number '69'.

If you partake in this method, please comment and share your success stories (especially if they end in marriage/domestic partnerships.)

If you fail, you're not doing it right. Just buy my forthcoming book.