Overheard at the Offices of the Jeggings Blog - a short week

[Scott looks highly uncomfortable waiting in line at Bed Bath & Beyond]
Janelle: "Dude, what's wrong?"
Scott: "Freaking everyone that works here is pregnant."

Rach: "How do I do this?"
Dan: "Do you know how to BREATHE!?"

Tommy: "I can't come over, I have chicken wings."

Jeff: "Who shot this footage?"
Rach: "I think Scott. Why?"
Jeff: "It's really freaking jittery."
[the whole office busts out laughing]

Janelle: Yeah, I cybered your duck all day, and it was very uncomfortable for me, though he seemed to enjoy himself.

Nikki: "Is Tommy's girlfriend Asian?"
Rach: "What? NO she's not Asian!"
Nikki: "I thought Asian people were only allowed to date other Asian people, like on Glee. Where they meet at Asian camp."

Janelle: "I can't smell the bacon soap. Maybe because my whole house smells like bacon and I'm just accustomed to it."

Scott: how does one type vomit?
Scott: oh, right:
Scott: AQKVDSBLKVDSBLKVDSBLIOPYUCLALALALALALALALAzvcnw GFRNAI87WLQE7WLEGHXK M8RB+2D5VE SDC
Scott: my computer literally couldn't handle that.

Amy: "Why are you texting Rach and not me?"

Tommy: [to Janelle] When did you get the title of "Pure Awesomeness" in the office?!

Scott [about Uggs]: It's like sticking your foot into the mouth of a dead animal . . . inside out.

Rach (in reference to a squirrel): "How do you think they find their nuts?"
Scott: "...they look down?"