[I'm dressed up like a wannabe hooker for a film shoot]
Rach: Scott, do you wish she dressed like this every day?
Scott: Ohmygod NO!
Rach: Something smells funny in here.
[a few hours later]
Rach: Tommy, where do you want to go for dinner?
Tommy: I don't know.
Rach: Potbelly?
Tommy: No.
Janelle: We went there the other day.
Tommy: OH NO!
[pulls an old Potbelly sandwich out of this backpack]
Janelle: And he didn't even get a chubby.
Jeff [in Schwarzenegger voice]: PUT THE COOKIE DOWN!
Amy: Scott's really mad at me. It's like he really thinks I'm . . . [trails off] I can't even say the name.
Scott: I can't wait till Fort Day.
Janelle: I want a nap room.
Scott: Umm, okay.
Janelle: I GET TOP BUNK!
Scott: You mean . . . the desk?
[this was a Facebook chat]
Janelle: I like how you used the word "legitly"
Scott: I like to think I coined that word, like Dimitri Martin coining LQTM...which is typically more accurate than LOL
Janelle: exactly
Scott: ...which recently my dad found out didn't necessarily mean "Lots of Love."
Janelle: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Scott: THAT was an interesting family party. he goes, "Why the hell do you guys always say Lots of Love after everything you say in a text message?"
Janelle: my mom thought that's what it meant too. so she would text me and be like "please pick up a package of toilet paper on the way home LOL". so I'm thinking, did someone take an epic dump and use every sheet of toilet paper in our house? and that's why it's funny? and she's like "why don't you say LOL when you text me?" and I'm thinking, because I didn't say anything funny and neither did you. so yeah, she learned.
Scott: Oh, there's a floater.
Tommy: YOU'RE a floater.
Scott: I just randomly acquired an Australian accent.
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