I am indifferent to Thanksgiving. I will not complain about getting two days off school and work and being served copious amounts of food and being induced into a pleasant food coma. It's not my favorite holiday, but it's nice enough.
However, I think I would love Tgivz 30x more if I was an international student. Why, you ask? Because while the rest of the lowly student body has to pay for a "Thanksgiving feast" in the RFoC at school, if you just so happen to have been born in NOT 'Murica, the "feast" is free.
I understand that many international students have never experienced American Thanksgiving . . . their first year at LTU. But after that? They just get to go freeload off of my tuition money and eat the turkey and stuffing that I paid for. While I am detained at the door and a somewhat haughty lady explains to me why I am undeserving of a free Thanksgiving meal and can she please have my card to swipe, thank you very much, international students are smugly taking helpings of candied yams and mashed potatoes.
(I hate candied yams, but you know, it's the PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.)
Why, oh WHY does the school seem to think that international students automatically receive a free meal, while the rest of us are left to pay $8? I'd be willing to bet that most of them have WAY more money than I do. Their governments also give the school buttloads of money. So what? I give the school buttloads of money too, and it's used to make subpar promotional material. I want a free meal, DAG NABBIT!
This post is dedicated to THIS guy, as he has been bothering me to write it for a very long 2 days.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Really People?!?!
So while walking Luke (aka Cow; aka Horsey; aka Puppy; aka Shit Head; aka Lukas; aka my puppy) last night I could not help but notice the absorbent about of people in my neighborhood who are under the delusion that it is christmas already. Its not even Thanksgiving yet people! Therefore it is not ok to have your whole F-ing yard covered in Christmas decorations!
I understand that some people are more excited about holiday then others but does that really give them the right to skip over some holidays all together? Hell lets put out Valentines Day decorations too while we at it!
And that just the lights do not get me started on the Christmas music that is already polluting the air wave of every mall and shopping center. Really! Really! Im under the strong belief that Christmas music, lights, and greetings are only appropriate two weeks before the 25th of December and should be taken down before entering the New Year! Is that really too much to ask?
An Encounter with Innovation
I strolled into work today and found this on the markerboard above my desk.
An explanation, via "THIS guy":
"Yes, the cannon launches two Canon HV-40s attached like nun chucks facing away from each other. Upon launch, the pair spins at a rate that allows us to put two panoramic videos together in 3D, while also launching tapes (3 each) which simulate an air strike and a wireless audio force field with the help of two shotgun mics. (And as an added bonus, there's a cartoon-ish Dark Mark in the upper right corner. *This product is Voldemort-approved!*)"
Patent pending.
An explanation, via "THIS guy":
"Yes, the cannon launches two Canon HV-40s attached like nun chucks facing away from each other. Upon launch, the pair spins at a rate that allows us to put two panoramic videos together in 3D, while also launching tapes (3 each) which simulate an air strike and a wireless audio force field with the help of two shotgun mics. (And as an added bonus, there's a cartoon-ish Dark Mark in the upper right corner. *This product is Voldemort-approved!*)"
Patent pending.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Are you an idiot? (A series)
Look, as college students, it's a fair assumption to say that we're all looking to do the least amount of work, while still receiving the most amount of credit. Historically, I've simply called this "academic efficiency". However it has come to my attention that there is a line between academic efficiency and laziness.
There's a golden rule to academic efficiency that must always be adhered to: You never reveal to the professor that you're looking to do the least amount of work. In other words, you never ask the forbidden question of, "Is this going to be on the test?"
For me, "academic efficiency" is about not only doing the minimum amount of work possible, but also getting something out of the course being taken. Someone asking "Is this going to be on the test" means to me that you're being lazy. I don't just write a 3-page paper filled with bullshit, but instead I write a 3-page paper with only the information needed to get the best grade. In the process of determining what that necessary information is, I learn.
It's not a bad way to go, really. But I wish everyone else in my classes would stop being lazy and actually think and analyze what's being taught to us. People might actually learn something.
There's a golden rule to academic efficiency that must always be adhered to: You never reveal to the professor that you're looking to do the least amount of work. In other words, you never ask the forbidden question of, "Is this going to be on the test?"
For me, "academic efficiency" is about not only doing the minimum amount of work possible, but also getting something out of the course being taken. Someone asking "Is this going to be on the test" means to me that you're being lazy. I don't just write a 3-page paper filled with bullshit, but instead I write a 3-page paper with only the information needed to get the best grade. In the process of determining what that necessary information is, I learn.
It's not a bad way to go, really. But I wish everyone else in my classes would stop being lazy and actually think and analyze what's being taught to us. People might actually learn something.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Best Day Of My Life
Prince William is engaged!
This is so awesome!
I love seeing it on every online news page!
All these exclamation points do not mean sarcasm -- I'm really, really excited!
I love England so much and I want William to be King and Kate to be Queen since she is a commoner and she is proof that every little girl can for real dream of growing up to be a princess.
LOVE KNOWS NO TITLES OR BOUNDARIES.
LONG LIVE WILLZ AND KATE!
This is so awesome!
I love seeing it on every online news page!
All these exclamation points do not mean sarcasm -- I'm really, really excited!
I love England so much and I want William to be King and Kate to be Queen since she is a commoner and she is proof that every little girl can for real dream of growing up to be a princess.
LOVE KNOWS NO TITLES OR BOUNDARIES.
LONG LIVE WILLZ AND KATE!
Dear Everyone Driving North on M24 Near The Dump Around5:30,
"It's okay, it was just wrapping paper, not a spike strip. I realize this was traumatic for many of you, but seriously. Was merging to get around it really worth causing a half-mile backup?"
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Disclaimers. (thispostrequiresadultassembly)
It's really entertaining, the number and variety of disclaimers that seem to be haphazardly thrown into the end of commercials. Lately, though, they seem to be getting more and more trivial. For example: A drug for RLS may cause the increased urge to gamble. Some company advertising its services on the radio announces that it is not only an equal-opportunity employer, but also an affirmative action employer. Next up, we've got a travel company charging a 9/11 security tax "as well as other applicable taxes."
Okay, first of all, the fact that most commercials which require justification and caution have the disclaimers taking up the majority of the spot should be noted as remarkable. It's quite clear that in many cases, it seems like the cons outweigh the pros on taking whatever's being advertised. Second, are we just making things up as we go now? Doesn't "equal employment opportunity" count as an umbrella term in which "affirmative action employer" fits under? Michigan.gov says the difference between EEO and AA is that affirmative action is a remedy for past actions and EEO is general equality. Later on the page, however, the site makes sure to convey that "they are both about fairness." ...but I digress, and this topic could be a post all by itself.
The point is that disclaimers are becoming a waste of time. Makers of commercials could save a lot of money on air time if they didn't include the disclaimers, or at least not all of them. These days, consumers only hear what they want to hear anyway, so give the option of hearing the disclaimers to the customers and slap 'em on a website. Save time at the end of the commercials and just say, "Go 'here' for information about stuff!" Additionally, without the disclaimers, makers of TV commercials wouldn't have to pay actors while they grab thirty to forty-five seconds of b-roll of them in two separate bathtubs in the wilderness for some reason. The actors have time to find something better to do with their lives, the producers save money, the network can fill the time with more commercials, and consumers will have a choice as to whether or not they want to know the boring stuff. Everybody wins!
For the record, I have no problem with AA or EEO. I do have an issue with making things up about other stuff just to make it sound more important or relevant.
Okay, first of all, the fact that most commercials which require justification and caution have the disclaimers taking up the majority of the spot should be noted as remarkable. It's quite clear that in many cases, it seems like the cons outweigh the pros on taking whatever's being advertised. Second, are we just making things up as we go now? Doesn't "equal employment opportunity" count as an umbrella term in which "affirmative action employer" fits under? Michigan.gov says the difference between EEO and AA is that affirmative action is a remedy for past actions and EEO is general equality. Later on the page, however, the site makes sure to convey that "they are both about fairness." ...but I digress, and this topic could be a post all by itself.
The point is that disclaimers are becoming a waste of time. Makers of commercials could save a lot of money on air time if they didn't include the disclaimers, or at least not all of them. These days, consumers only hear what they want to hear anyway, so give the option of hearing the disclaimers to the customers and slap 'em on a website. Save time at the end of the commercials and just say, "Go 'here' for information about stuff!" Additionally, without the disclaimers, makers of TV commercials wouldn't have to pay actors while they grab thirty to forty-five seconds of b-roll of them in two separate bathtubs in the wilderness for some reason. The actors have time to find something better to do with their lives, the producers save money, the network can fill the time with more commercials, and consumers will have a choice as to whether or not they want to know the boring stuff. Everybody wins!
For the record, I have no problem with AA or EEO. I do have an issue with making things up about other stuff just to make it sound more important or relevant.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
True Facts with Tommy
As long as I can remember, when my dad is home, he will never wear pants. He'll galavant around the house in his underwear and a white undershirt.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
...Says the Guy with the Reversible Shirt
Yeah, it's me, but The Guy with the Reversible Shirt seems like somewhat of a ridiculous title, no? I also go by...[pulls out long, folded piece of paper and reading glasses]: The Pause Button, Conversation Assassin, Guy with the Red Van, Shotgun Rules Guy, "This" Guy, and occasionally "That" Guy, among others. (The others would be my actual name or variations thereof.)
I'm twenty, a Sophomore in college, majoring in Media Communication, taking seventeen credits, working three jobs, and living on a prayer and at home. I won't get into my jobs or my college "life" right now because that's probably going to be a central theme in my posts...that and...[shudders]...traffic. Yes, traffic. Commuting to school has taught me a few things about life and some of the people in it. Upon forming my own opinions and seeing those of others on the road, it's clear that our society is not for the faint of heart-- erm...mind. I'm not sure about the other authors on The Jeggings Blog, but you can count on hearing from me when there's stupidity afoot.
I'm twenty, a Sophomore in college, majoring in Media Communication, taking seventeen credits, working three jobs, and living on a prayer and at home. I won't get into my jobs or my college "life" right now because that's probably going to be a central theme in my posts...that and...[shudders]...traffic. Yes, traffic. Commuting to school has taught me a few things about life and some of the people in it. Upon forming my own opinions and seeing those of others on the road, it's clear that our society is not for the faint of heart-- erm...mind. I'm not sure about the other authors on The Jeggings Blog, but you can count on hearing from me when there's stupidity afoot.
Hello ladies
Look at this blog. Now to your keyboard. Now back to this blog. Here's an intro.
I started my blogging career in the depths of the Lawrence Tech Management Building's basement under the watchful eye of our director, Suzanne Levine. I dreaded making blog posts, and I still do. However, I want that to change.
I like rocks. Like.... I seriously like them. I have a rock collection. I like computers. I build and mod all of the computers in my household. I like producing video. It's fun. I love lamp.
Alright so seriously.... what do I do?
When I'm not spending time on schoolwork (which is never), I like to play computer games. I'm a PC gamer. I have interned on two Hollywood films: Harold and Kumar 3 and Right Angle in the Art Department. Umm... yeah. That's about it really. I like to party.... like a lot. When I'm not doing any of these things, I'm usually creeping on your facebook.
I started my blogging career in the depths of the Lawrence Tech Management Building's basement under the watchful eye of our director, Suzanne Levine. I dreaded making blog posts, and I still do. However, I want that to change.
I like rocks. Like.... I seriously like them. I have a rock collection. I like computers. I build and mod all of the computers in my household. I like producing video. It's fun. I love lamp.
Alright so seriously.... what do I do?
When I'm not spending time on schoolwork (which is never), I like to play computer games. I'm a PC gamer. I have interned on two Hollywood films: Harold and Kumar 3 and Right Angle in the Art Department. Umm... yeah. That's about it really. I like to party.... like a lot. When I'm not doing any of these things, I'm usually creeping on your facebook.
Hello. Is It Me You're Looking For?
Right now, I'm the only one who is posting to this blog.
Therefore, I am the most important.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential . . .
very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets.
When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
If the rest of you boners don't start posting, this is going to turn into my blog 2.0.
Therefore, I am the most important.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential . . .
very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets.
When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
If the rest of you boners don't start posting, this is going to turn into my blog 2.0.
Jeggings FTW
There comes a time in everyone’s life when they must humbly beg for forgiveness. Even the best of the best make mistakes, since we are all human (regardless of whether we are wizards or Muggles.) And I realized today that I was horribly, horribly wrong, and so I must apologize to the masses.
I would like to extend a sincere and heartfelt apology to any girl I have ever made fun of for wearing jeggings.
Let me explain. Jeggings are leggings that look like jeans. I used to make fun of girls that wore them because they are tacky, overpriced tights that let junk hang out that no one wants to see. I have never been able to bring myself to wear leggings as pants, even going so far as to wear shorts over leggings (a.k.a. my “stupid Sunday outfit”). LEGGINGS DO NOT EQUAL PANTS.
However, I have been forced to reevaluate my stance. The other day at Target, I stopped for a quick look around for a shirt for the upcoming meet and greet with Starkid Productions. Finding nothing, I was on my way out of the store when I saw a rack of jeans. “$15.99 each!”
That’s a FANTASTIC price for jeans. So, on my way to the register, I grabbed two pairs, thinking that if they didn’t fit I’d just take them back.
Imagine my surprise when, this morning as I was pulling on a pair, I realized they don’t have zippers. And they are surprisingly stretchy. And though they feel and look like jeans, they are lighter than air.
I glanced at the tag, and my stomach dropped.
JEGGINGS.
How could I be so naïve? So impulsive? I wanted to sink into a ball and cry. I did just that. And you know what I felt?
Nothing.
No button digging into my stomach. No restrictions of movement. No, I felt like I wasn’t wearing pants. Because I wasn’t. I was wearing jeggings.
And then I knew there was no going back.
So, all you proud jeggings wearers, I applaud you. As long as you keep your junk tucked in, go on wearing them, because wearing leg coverings that look like pants but feel like air should be a basic human right.
I would like to extend a sincere and heartfelt apology to any girl I have ever made fun of for wearing jeggings.
Let me explain. Jeggings are leggings that look like jeans. I used to make fun of girls that wore them because they are tacky, overpriced tights that let junk hang out that no one wants to see. I have never been able to bring myself to wear leggings as pants, even going so far as to wear shorts over leggings (a.k.a. my “stupid Sunday outfit”). LEGGINGS DO NOT EQUAL PANTS.
However, I have been forced to reevaluate my stance. The other day at Target, I stopped for a quick look around for a shirt for the upcoming meet and greet with Starkid Productions. Finding nothing, I was on my way out of the store when I saw a rack of jeans. “$15.99 each!”
That’s a FANTASTIC price for jeans. So, on my way to the register, I grabbed two pairs, thinking that if they didn’t fit I’d just take them back.
Imagine my surprise when, this morning as I was pulling on a pair, I realized they don’t have zippers. And they are surprisingly stretchy. And though they feel and look like jeans, they are lighter than air.
I glanced at the tag, and my stomach dropped.
JEGGINGS.
How could I be so naïve? So impulsive? I wanted to sink into a ball and cry. I did just that. And you know what I felt?
Nothing.
No button digging into my stomach. No restrictions of movement. No, I felt like I wasn’t wearing pants. Because I wasn’t. I was wearing jeggings.
And then I knew there was no going back.
So, all you proud jeggings wearers, I applaud you. As long as you keep your junk tucked in, go on wearing them, because wearing leg coverings that look like pants but feel like air should be a basic human right.
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