Disclaimers. (thispostrequiresadultassembly)

It's really entertaining, the number and variety of disclaimers that seem to be haphazardly thrown into the end of commercials. Lately, though, they seem to be getting more and more trivial. For example: A drug for RLS may cause the increased urge to gamble. Some company advertising its services on the radio announces that it is not only an equal-opportunity employer, but also an affirmative action employer. Next up, we've got a travel company charging a 9/11 security tax "as well as other applicable taxes."

Okay, first of all, the fact that most commercials which require justification and caution have the disclaimers taking up the majority of the spot should be noted as remarkable. It's quite clear that in many cases, it seems like the cons outweigh the pros on taking whatever's being advertised. Second, are we just making things up as we go now? Doesn't "equal employment opportunity" count as an umbrella term in which "affirmative action employer" fits under? Michigan.gov says the difference between EEO and AA is that affirmative action is a remedy for past actions and EEO is general equality. Later on the page, however, the site makes sure to convey that "they are both about fairness."     ...but I digress, and this topic could be a post all by itself.

The point is that disclaimers are becoming a waste of time. Makers of commercials could save a lot of money on air time if they didn't include the disclaimers, or at least not all of them. These days, consumers only hear what they want to hear anyway, so give the option of hearing the disclaimers to the customers and slap 'em on a website. Save time at the end of the commercials and just say, "Go 'here' for information about stuff!" Additionally, without the disclaimers, makers of TV commercials wouldn't have to pay actors while they grab thirty to forty-five seconds of b-roll of them in two separate bathtubs in the wilderness for some reason. The actors have time to find something better to do with their lives, the producers save money, the network can fill the time with more commercials, and consumers will have a choice as to whether or not they want to know the boring stuff. Everybody wins!

For the record, I have no problem with AA or EEO. I do have an issue with making things up about other stuff just to make it sound more important or relevant.