Overheard at the Offices of the Jeggings Blog: Passoveaster

Scott: So-and-so called the hotline.

Rach: What line?

Scott: [seductively] My line.

Rach: Did she seriously have to chicken broth everything?

Janelle: [says something stupid]

Scott: Okay, Mom.

Janelle: WHAT?!

Scott: No, I'm reading an email. Not even a Freudian slip would make that happen.

Rach: You know, if they hooked up, their couple name could be "Chip Clip."

Janelle: I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY MEDIUM-SIZED DOG!

Rach: Oh my God, you are Scott Lehman-ing that keyboard!

Scott: Why doesn't anyone keep this updated? It's most definitely a 5.

Rach: You're most definitely a 5.

Scott: That is an extremely untrue statement.

Scott: [drops 3 $1 bills on Janelle]: MAKIN' IT RAINNNNNNN!

Nicole's ex boyfriend: I just really want a hug, as gay as that sounds.

Rach/Scott/Janelle: You wanna fight?!

Janelle: Who's on the phone? Tell me now.

Rach: Don't worry about it. It's Tommy's mom.

Tommy: Aww, how's she doing?

Rach: Oh, she's doing real well.

Janelle: You furious?

Tommy: The deal of the day is for laser hair removal.

Rach: I need that . . . on the lip . . . of my face.

Sorry, Wrong Pants #12 - In the bowels of the toilet

Did anyone watch The Voice on NBC the other night? That show is SWEET. No sarcasm, really, I highly highly enjoyed the show. Within 30 minutes I could tell which artist would turn around and select the singer... Cee Lo was especially easy to figure out. Adam, the dude from Maroon 5, has the best team so far. That one kind of chubbier guy has a voice, damn. Country music dude Blake is kind of a douche, but at least he's a douche in an entertaining way. Christina Aguilera is looking beautiful as always, and her little rivalry with Adam that has formed already is entertaining.

And I love that Carson Daly is the host of the show. It's nice to see him on TV not at 3am. Can you believe he's had that super late night show on NBC for almost 10 years now? I've never watched it, to be honest. It's on too late. And when I am up that late, I'm usually out with friends or something of the like. 

Nevertheless it's nice to see him and Christina Aguilera on TV together not on TRL. Those were the days, man.

We talked toilets at some point during the show. Don't hold your breath.

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I sat on a $6,400 Toilet and it changed my life.

The Mouse turns 30!

Hi. My name is Jeff Wolka, I don't mean to nerd out.... but I will.

I would like to talk about our good friend, the computer mouse. It was 30 years ago today that the first commercially available mouse was released. Since then there has been many innovations in mouse technology. Here are the top 3 mouses that I have ever owned.

3.) THE MAGIC MOUSE

You see this thing? Yeah, that's a multi-touch surface (that means you can do some fancy things like scrolling without a mouse wheel/ball). Pretty fancy, right? OH it gets better. This guy is bluetooth. That's right. Wireless. This bad boy will set you back $69. See, Apple is classy like that. Worth the money. Buy it. Now.

2.) Logitech LX8

Do you like computers? Yes. Do you like games? Yes. Do you like computer games? YES. This mouse is, in my opinion, the best multipurpose wireless mouse on the market. It is comfortable due to the rubber grips on the side. It is also responsive, and that is a must for PC gamers such as myself. This guy will set you back around $19 on Amazon.

1. The Nyko AirFlo Mouse.

Do you suffer from sweaty hands like Janelle? Then this mouse is for you! I bought this mouse in 2003. It was marketed as a gamer mouse, because of those sweat inducing moments of tension in your games. Inside of this little guy is a silent fan that blows air out of the holes and onto your sweaty palms. Yeah, that's right. This mouse served me through Call of Duty, Call of Duty 2, and Battlefield 2 (and we're talking about the original Call of Duty for the PC, not that Xbox crap). Unfortunately, the only place to find this guy is on ebay. Buy it. Do it NOW.

Overheard at the Offices of the Jeggings Blog

Janelle (to Scott): Your hair grows like weed.

Scott: Step right up and guess the weight of this penguin!

Tommy: The average weight of an emperor penguin is 88 pounds.

Scott: Damn-

Janelle: ...that's-

Scott: ....fat-

Janelle: Yeah!

Rachel2: I'm going to have some cake and be a fatty. Whatever. I already have a man.

Janelle (to Scott): I was going to say you have a bad touch, and then I thought about how gross that song is . . .

Scott: Just, stop.

Scott: How did you make a 3D box?

Rach: Because I'm freaking magical.

Rach: Scott creatively services this department in several ways . . .

Janelle: . . . and we creatively service him right back.

Scott: Wow, that was not the right knob.

Janelle: What IS the right knob, Scott?

Scott: This went up quickly.

Janelle: [pause] I was going to make an innuendo . . .

Scott: NO.

Richard: That's the wrong color for something . . . ahh . . . how can I put it delicately . . . slightly phallic shaped.

Rach: I'm spitting on your cake and changing your Facebook status simultaneously.

Sorry, Wrong Pants #11 - Uncle Ron's Ice Cream Truck

Man, I miss original PlayStation games sometimes. The convenience and ubiquity of games and entertainment is so incredible now, especially compared to 15-some years ago. The kids today will be growing up playing multiplayer games against their friends on the internets, and on their iPod touches and DS screens. They'll never know the fun and joy of games like Twisted Metal 2, where you sat down in front of your TV next to your buddy, and you'd lose hours upon hours playing it; unlocking levels and characters the hard way (we didn't have no internets to look up cheat codes!) - That's freedom my friends, that's freedom.

This rant has absolutely nothing to do with the podcast.


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Good luck driver, and welcome to Twisted Metal.

1-800-4-RAFTIN

In a few months, the Jeggings Bloggers (minus Jeff and Amy) will be doing this.

My excitement is hard to contain.

Overheard at the Offices of the Jeggings Blog: Two Week Overflow Edition

Jeff (in reference to Wendy's): It's good but its not what I expected to be in my mouth.

Rach: (reading) "Always use a fresh tip for each sampling" sounds like something you SHOULD do.

Scott: That's what she said.

Computer Voice: I sure like being inside this computer.

Scott: I'd like to creep you more, but with less effort. Can you please help me out? NO.

Rach: I usually don't like shirts with boobs on the pockets.

Vibha: I mean, why wouldn't all the ladies want to work here, with this eye candy?

Scott: I'm not gonna argue with that.

Jeff: The PC can't handle all this video.
Tommy: I don't think you're ready for this jelly. *pause* Destiny's Child, what up! *pause* Yeah I went there. *pause* I'm just going to keep staring at my computer so I don't have to look at your faces.

Scott: ¿Donde esta?
Tommy: ¡En tu mama! ¡Que pasa! (Intended translation: In your mom! What up!)

Janelle: I think I just had a hot flash.

Rach: Just don't sit so close to Scott.

Janelle: I don't know why he thinks I'm smart.

Rach: I have so many holes filled.

Scott: No my God.

Scott: I can't wait for the extension.

Scott: Why does nothing come out . . . ?

Rach: I said before, all my holes are filled!

Janelle: I'll fill your holes.

Scott: Please.

Scott: Geology Rocks.

Sorry, Wrong Pants #10 - Schwarzenegger on the Struggle Bus

I was pushed to the ground, but then I arose again, and I proclaimed, "Thou cannot keep me on thy ground!" I was pushed to the ground, but then I arose again, and I proclaimed, "Thou cannot keep me on thy ground!"

Urinating the darkness away... urinating the darkness away!

He imbibes a liquor drink, he imbibes a potato drink, he imbibes a brewed drink, he imbibes an ale drink. He vocalizes the anthems regarding the exciting events, he vocalizes the anthems regarding the well-to-do times.

Don't weep for me, nearby resident of mine!

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What is a Chumbawumba anyway?

Sorry, Wrong Pants #9 - This Week in Disney

Technical note: Refresh your feed in iTunes and you should be able to download #9. For some reason iTunes was being directed to #8.

Tommy here. I went to Go Comedy last night instead of podcasting, yet I'm de facto in charge of writing the podcast description and posting it. I haven't listened to the episode the rest of the crew recorded last night, but I'm going to assume that these topics were possibly covered:

• Tumbleweeds
• Carnival games and their effect on youth society
• Canada, America's 52nd State
• Refrigerators and you: the hidden radioactive threat in your kitchen
• Cats
• The Price is Right
• Jason Statham

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Jason Statham in Gnomeo and Juliet.

Sorry, Wrong Pants #8 - Congratulations on your Achievement

Three-way pinky swear

After a brief hiatus, we're back with new episodes! This one is old. So old, I don't know what we talked about.

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Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Overheard on April Fool's Day - Scott, Rach and Janelle edition

Rach [on the phone]- Hi, [somebody]. Oh, you do sound worse today!
Scott [over the wall]- Yeah, nice to see you too.

Rach- You have to be nice to it.
Scott [pets the printer]- It's okay, buddy. You print when you want to.

Scott: I'm not weird, I'm just a dork.

Scott: [to Janelle] You're about as useful as an appendix.

Rach: I need a dose of niceness in my life . . . from me to others.

Janelle: You can be nice to me.

Janelle: Never mind, that would be weird.

Scott: [to Janelle] I've been watching Hey, Arnold! on your Netflix account . . . and I never realized how much of a wuss he is.

Janelle: I just want a baby.

Janelle: You know what I mean.

Scott: It's like, geeze, learn when to pull out.

Janelle: There's a floor cookie! Scott has a floor cookie!

Rach: Wanna lick it?

Janelle: I like how you kept it up, like a robot.

[gap of silence]

Scott: That's what she said.

Scott: Calm the eff down.

Rach: Haven't you ever noticed? We calm the eff up.

Rach: These shoes are like fat pants with the elastic waistband.

Scott: Why does a kid with a big stick remind you of me?