Every year, my family gets into an epic fight on Christmas.
Now, most people would say, "Poor Magical Me. She has a broken home. No Christmas Cheer for her."
However, if you knew the nature of our fights, you would think differently. Which is why I'm going to enlighten you.
Last year, on our way home from my aunt's house, Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" came on. My mom, sister and I started talking about how crazy Lady Gaga's outfits are. I am a HUGE Lady Gaga fan. I love her. I think she is God's gift to the earth. However, her outfits are CRAZY. We were talking about her nutso red pleather outfit when she met the Queen of England. [I had just returned from my England adventure, so this was particularly relevant.]
My dad started YELLING at us about how we were mean and that Lady Gaga is a beautiful young woman who deserves our respect and admiration. The fact that he was about 15 beers in and we had no idea that he even knew who Lady Gaga was made us laugh at him, and then he got even more mad and started saying that we were judgmental beeeeyotches.
We all went to bed happy.
This year, we went to my Uncle Paul's house, played euchre, ate a lot of food, and indulged in adult beverages. On the way home, my underage sister was driving, so us overage children were discussing pop culture, of course. My dad then launches into a rave about how he loves Kate Hudson. My mom and I argued that we like her mother, Goldie Hawn, more. Because she has been with HOT Kurt Russell for ever and she is funny and cute even though she is old.
Mom: "Kate Hudson is a hussy. She has been with a million guys and her son has really long hair and looks gross."
Dad: "SHUT UP. I AM QUITTING MY LIFE. I LOVE KATE HUDSON. I AM GOING TO MARRY HER."
Thus, you now know what my family fights about on Christmas.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
