Overheard at Parties That No One Comes To

Rachel-2: I'm just too tired to fucktion.

Megan (Nicole's friend): Soooo many people de-friended me on Facebook because my status was, "despite being fat, Adele is killin' it."

Rachel-2 (watching Newsies): This movie is filled with strong young jawlines.

Janelle (to Nicole): You smell like poop.

Nicole: What? How do I smell like poop? What do you mean?

Mom: Get away from us. You smell like the morning after.

Nicole: The morning after what?

Mom: You smell like bad breath, alcohol, and B.O.

Janelle: I DON'T WANT TO BE BY YOU. You smell like a literal turd.

Rachel-2: Wait, what happened to Miss Honey's dad? Did he kill himself?

Nicole: Well you know, you could just shut up and watch the movie, that's always an option. I'm just sayin'.

Nicole: I'm going to take a shower!
Janelle: Come out smelling better!
Nicole: Come out smelly butter?